By the first week of January, my 25/26 season was already over. It started in August, and normally the schedule runs until at least the end of February. However, that is contingent on one small, crucial factor: winning Provincials. My team didn’t. 

It was a disappointing season, to say the least. Not only did we lose the semi-final at Provincials, but we also lost the final at the Canadian Pre-Trials back in October. Because it was the end of the Olympic quadrennial, the end of the season brought a wave of unknowns. Teams would be shifting and new opportunities would open up, but everything was at a standstill. I was stuck in a waiting stage for weeks, waiting for the national championships to wrap up so the “dominoes” could finally start to fall. Sitting at home and watching the games on TV, I was just annoyed I wasn’t on the ice myself. 

I was in a slump. I had no desire to get back on the ice, and my time in the gym felt unenjoyable and lacked purpose. Usually, I’m someone who thrives on a strict training structure, but I felt completely uninspired. I decided to take a break from consistent training. That’s not to say I wasn’t active; I visited my family back home in Ottawa, focused on my full-time job, and moved my body just for the fun of it. I tried spin and CrossFit classes without putting any pressure on myself. 

After about six weeks, my headspace cleared. I reached out to my strength coach, got a new programming block built, and put the structure back in place. But something was still holding me back. I wasn’t excited to go to the gym because of the space I was training in. I didn’t feel like I belonged in that community, and I didn’t feel comfortable training like the athlete I knew I could be. Those feelings of being emotionally unsettled were draining my motivation. For the benefit of my development and my mental health, I realized I needed a training space that offered a sense of belonging, somewhere I actually felt excited to go every day.

I took a risk. I stepped into a new, unfamiliar facility where I only knew one person. As someone who can be shy and introverted, this was intimidating. Not only was the facility new, but I was surrounded by people who seemed stronger or more established in their lifting journeys.

A training space that aligns with my values matters so much more than I realized. Since moving to Victoria a year and a half ago, I hadn’t found this kind of “home” yet. Looking back, I can see how much my training suffered without it. Since joining this new gym, my training frequency and quality have skyrocketed. I’ve seen gains not just in my physical abilities, but in my social confidence. I’m finally building the community in Victoria that I’ve been lacking. 

If these last few months have taught me anything, it’s that taking a break isn’t a failure because sometimes it is a necessity. I’ve learned that it is okay to question why a space feels off and to make a change for the sake of your own mental headspace. When you do make those changes, prioritize your emotional and psychological safety. Look for the places and people that encourage you to be exactly who you are.

As an athlete, how we train is vital, but where we train is equally important. Finding a safe environment that challenges and stimulates me has been integral to my growth. For the first time in a long time, I’m actually excited to head to the gym every day to train through the summer before the next season kicks off in August.